My Fitness Story

by | Jul 17, 2022

I’m a fat person.

This is the first time I’ve admitted that as an identifier publicly. Before that, I’ve used other negative self-talk like “I could stand to lose a few pounds” or “I’d be thin if I didn’t eat so many cookies.”

Me as a teenager – I came of age pre-digital cameras!

But since childhood, I’ve been fat. I’ve not always been fat – through some times with Atkins, Weight Watchers, keto, South Beach – you name it, I’ve tried it and it’s worked, for a time. Except for the cabbage soup diet, that one just sounded gross…

And every time, the weight has come back.

Me at age 4. What can I say – it was the 80s!

I’ve also used fitness as a means to control my weight. I’ve done weight training classes, run a few 5/10ks, yoga, Zumba, etc.

Things really hit the breaking point in 2019.

Through a freak accident falling down the stairs, I broke my right big toe so badly it required surgery and a screw put into my foot for me to be able to walk again. I was forced off my feet and unable to drive. At the time, I had just started my marketing business and I NEEDED to be able to drive to meet clients and hustle up work. My business suffered and I was depressed. And when I’m depressed, I eat. I gained back 25 lbs. Then, the pandemic hit and I gained an additional 15 lbs.

Once I was vaccinated, I wanted to lose the weight, and I started attending circuit strength training classes at Transform Fitness. The trainer there and I met and I expressed I had a desire to run a 25k – just to see if I could!

Through my work with her, I regained strength in my legs from my injury and slowly began to run again. Weight loss was still at the forefront of my training, and I was eating a low carb diet at the time.

It turns out that running and carbohydrates are BFFs, and I quickly realized I needed to adjust my diet to maintain my training regimen. This was also the time of deep learning about the issues confronting our world. Climate change and fatphobia are two of the areas I gained knowledge about. I learned that

Because of that, and also the fact that keto had taught me I didn’t really *like* meat, I quit eating it on Thanksgiving of this year.

I thought running + weight training + eating a lower fat vegetarian diet would mean that my weight would easily fall off. It didn’t. My metabolism has shifted, and I am busier than I ever have been before. But I’m also stronger than I have ever been before, and I’m proud to report I did complete a 25k run in May of 2022.

I’m still fat.

But what I’ve been learning is that being an athlete and being thin are not mutually exclusive. I’ve also discovered that I love movement and exercise not just because it burns calories but because it feels good.

I would love to have the time and energy to work out for an hour every day, to prepare perfectly healthy macro’d vegetarian meals, to drink 100oz of water a day, to get 10000 steps in a day. But realistically I’m a single mom with two active kids, a job, a boyfriend, a dog, and a million irons in the fire. I can’t do all of those things every day. But I’ve discovered that health and fitness is not an all-or-nothing thing. It’s a journey like everything else. I started this space to share the steps forward (and backwards) I make, in hopes that others see that doing things imperfectly is better than not doing them at all. Thanks for coming along for the ride!